to rehabilitate

Why would I give everything to you again?

I hurt people that love me.

Including me.

Including my parents

My brother

My best friends

My dogs

My belongings

Hurt people keep hurting others

Because they don’t know they have to bleed

I’m hoping

I know most people have found ways to leave

Someone as toxic as me

But

How do I leave me?


How do I give up on myself?

I tried that route and it only led to more hell

Turns out,

Dying doesn’t help.

feeling dead and gone doesn’t either

I’d rather be here in pain than not.

And not thinking people can rehabilitate

Is worse somehow

So I have faith

In myself to hurt less

And be able to heal

Be able to shine light on my wounds and

Not be grossed out by how strange

And sticky and wet it all seems

Nasty little creepy wounds of tentacles gaping

Staring back at me

I’ve had an infection for a long time and now I’m finally seeing me.